"Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those whom we cannot resemble."

"Every quotation contributes something to the stability or enlargement of the language."

"Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel."

"Classical quotation is the parole of literary men all over the world."

"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money."

"You must have taken great pains, sir; you could not naturally been so very stupid."

"The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer."

"Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage."

"You can't deny laughter. When it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants."

"Household tasks are easier and quicker when they are done by somebody else."

"Magnificent promises are always to be suspected."

"In forming a judgment, lay your hearts void of foretaken opinions; else, whatsoever is done or said, will be measured by a wrong rule; like them who have jaundice, to whom everything appears yellow."