"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

"You live and learn. At any rate, you live."

"In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad idea."

"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be."

"It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear."

"I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'no'."

"Part of what makes us human is what we mean to other people, and what people mean to us."

"Every little girl knows about love. It is only her capacity to suffer because of it that increases."

"Our revolution has made me feel the full force of the axiom that history is fiction and I am convinced that chance and intrigue have produced more heroes than genius and virtue."

"There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From its springs the purest courtesy in the outward behavior."

"Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul."