"The world is so full of a number of things I'm sure we should all be as happy as kings."

"It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!"

"Put up with it and you will get more of it."

"Of all the properties which belong to honorable men, not one is so highly prized as that of character."

"Short sentences drawn from long experiences."

"But thus do I counsel you, my friends: distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful!"

"If men saw that a term was set to their troubles, they would find strength in some way to withstand the hocus-pocus and intimidations of the prophets."

"Nihilism is best done by professionals."

"(On his family) It's an unusual story but then again, you show me a family and I'll show you an unusual story."

"And all who told it added something new, And all who heard it made enlargements too."